Sweet Snowflake Holiday

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Scream Free Parenting

In a perfect world this does exist. By scream I do mean yelling. I read the book "Scream-Free Parenting" because I was looking for some constructive way to effectively get my point across to a 4-yr old that doesn't want to listen to anything I have to say. I usually end up yelling because I get frustrated after repeatedly stating my request in a nice pleasant manner doesn't work.

The book points out that yes indeed this is my issue and I need to find a better, more appropriate technique. Well duh!! Perhaps I should have chosen a different book. LOL!

But seriously, the book does provide some alternatives and some parenting strategies for success. However they are not really helpful for parenting toddlers or preschoolers. :(

Overall the book is a good read but geared toward parenting of slightly older children.

Childhood

Remember when childhood used to be happy and carefree. We used to be able to play in the neighborhood without constant supervision or without  having to be cautious of everyone who walked by us. We used to play outside and use our imagination. We didn't spend our time watching tv or playing video games. We were creative and inventive. 

Lost is the innocence and carefree essence of the childhood of our day. It has been replaced by paranoia and fear perpetuated by the mass media. How have things changed so dramatically in the past 30-40 years? Were things really so different back then or did we just not hear about pedophiles, kidnappings or murders in our community? Is society really that different or has our awareness of such things simply changed? 

In many ways children of today are more sophisticated than years before but at the same time are missing out on the freedoms that we took for granted. I go to great lengths to ensure my children are safe at all times but I am also disappointed for what they will never experience.

The Unanswerable Question.......

Today my 4 year old asked me why Daddy hasn't been here and when was he coming to see us. So obviously I have no idea how to answer since "Daddy" left the family and chooses not to be involved. But how do you explain this to a 4yr old? So I skirted around the question and said I wasn't sure and he was probably just busy with work. He had a sad face but accepted that answer for now. Unfortunately I know he will ask again soon. 

I could use some not so nice words in reference to Daddy but what good would that do? It won't change the situation and I would never ever say anything negative about him in front of my boys. That would only hurt them and they have done nothing wrong. Sadly the one most affected by the situation is my 4yr old. The baby is too young to know any different.

It is a harsh reality for me and many other moms who face similar situations when Daddy leaves. We are the ones left to raise our children and have to deal with the unanswerable questions and the hurt faces. We must hold our heads high and continue on with a smile on our face and love in our heart because we are the Mommy. And that's what our children deserve.  :) 

Horrible Mommy Moments

So today I had one of those "OMG I am a horrible mom" moments. I was changing my 9mo olds diaper on the ottoman when my 4yr old called me from across the room. When I turned and looked my baby rolled off onto the floor. Luckily he landed on his hands and knees. I felt so terrible and was mad at myself for a bit.

Am I a horrible Mom? No of course not but it was a really good reminder of what can happen even in a second. He didn't even get hurt. He was a bit startled when I picked him up. In reality he probably falls down harder when he's in his pack and play trying to pull himself into a standing position and doesn't quite make it. Even with all that said I still feel guilty.

I don't think that feeling changes even as our children grow older. Whenever my 4 year old son falls or hurts himself in front of me I somehow always manage to think I should have prevented that even when I could not possibly have done so. As a mother we always want to protect our children. Lol! Even when logically we cannot always be there every minute of every day to make sure they don't get hurt. I guess that's just part of being a Mommy.